I’m back from my little social media cleanse. I say little because it was only two days. However, as someone who does social media full time, two days felt like 2 weeks. I feel like I learned a lot while being logged off too which I wanted to share with all of you.
First being, oh my god I feel way more centred internally. I feel more in tune with my body. I feel like I’m getting so much more work done that I had been putting off. I feel like I was able to check in on my loved ones more. I felt like I was pulled in so many less directions and I felt like I could focus more.
For a really long time I have felt more addicted to social media than I had liked. It wasn’t always like that for me. Years ago I deleted FB & snap chat and I kid you not I never missed it. Not one day after I deleted it which really scared me to be honest. I had been aimlessly scrolling & snapping for no real reason other than the fact that I was heavily addicted and it was the thing to do right? Everyone had snap & FB. I have never re downloaded snap since then, it’s been 5 years and about a year ago I did re download FB not because I missed it or wanted it but because I was about to launch my business and I knew I needed to be present on that platform. Around the same time I chose to redo my personal instagram. I archived my 200+ posts and started fresh. I wanted my feed to be more aesthetic to attract the eye and I wanted to offer more substance and meaning to my page. I wanted to start discussing mental health on a personal level in hopes to help bring awareness and education to the subject. My purpose is and always was to do this so that the stigma surrounding mental health eventually becomes eliminated. I also wanted it to be a safe place for people to come and read about struggles they could relate to.
With all that being said, running my business page alone can be tiresome. Always trying to keep up with the trends, share educational and accurate information regarding mental health, promote for events, etc. Social media is a full time job in itself so I salute those who also do it full time. Then on top of that, deciding to turn my personal page into a blog has also added to my workload. With the blog came a lot of messages. More than I was ever used to receiving before and the messages weren’t just surface level. A lot of messages are people pouring their heart out to me. Sharing their mental health struggles, asking for advice and saying how much they admire and look up to me.
I love this. It is single handedly my favourite part of what I do. Knowing I can be a safe place for so many, share my insight and help transparency trend. Ugh I love it. However, with the notifications piling up I felt less in control of my day to day. I felt I had to constantly be on social media, responding and being present for my online audience. I feel like there is a lot of pressure I put on myself to be online but also pressure from society to drive your business and stay up to date. If you have your notifications off when you log on the first thing it will ask you is to turn them back on. It constantly wants us logged on and fully engaged.
With all that being said, for awhile now I have been feeling sick internally and I couldn’t tap into why. I started feeling nauseous after being on my screen a lot. I got blue light glasses hoping it would help because I spend so much of my day on a screen. It helped a bit but I still felt almost empty in a way and drained. I would get excited to go to sleep at night so I didn’t feel the urge to be on my phone. For awhile now I had been saying that I hate how much I’m pulled to my phone, how addicted I am to scrolling when there is nothing else to do. I started to hate it more and more and finally the other night I said enough. I went completely offline for 2 days and it was the best thing I ever did. It reminded me that my first priority needs to be this beautiful life I’m currently living. I felt so free and with my notifications off I didn’t feel the need to grab my phone as often. It was interesting to see myself adapting to the change. The first day I clicked the IG app 6 times, SIX TIMES and every time I immediately excited before it opened. Each time was completely out of habit. I had zero desire to be online yet my brain was drawn to it subconsciously. The second day it didn’t happen at all which I thought was cool. I was adjusting quickly.
Today I logged on today excited to share this blog with you, this experience, all of it. However, going forward here is my promise to myself. That I will not pour into social media more than I pour into my own life. I will be offline more than I am online. I won’t post more than I am present. My notifications will stay off so I only go on when I choose to instead of being pulled. Social media is an energy exchange and more often than not it doesn’t come close to giving me the substance I supply it with.
My goal for the near future will be one to do one day online, the next completely offline. That still gives me a healthy balance of being able to post content for my business & personal page while allowing me space to pause, recenter and put myself first. The goal is to eventually have someone run my social media, which from that point on I would take a huge step back from social media. Don’t get me wrong social media can be fun, entertaining and of course I love all of you. I love the messages I get. I love seeing you all open up about mental health. I love seeing what my friends are up to, etc. but at the end of the day we all owe it to ourselves to live our lives first, to prioritize our needs, our desires, our mental health above any demands society or the media place on us. So this is me doing that for myself !
I was really excited to share this blog with all of you. If you have any more questions please don’t hesitate to comment or msg me directly.
Thank you for reading,