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Updated: Nov 1, 2022

Did you know that boundaries are one of the biggest forms of self love? They allow us to create and establish guidelines for how we wish to be treated.

Often times if we experience trauma or toxic behaviours in either our family dynamics or relationships we learn to let people cross our boundaries. We believe that we need to make others happy first. We self abandon constantly to show up for others. We associate being loved with great sacrifice. But the fact of the matter is if we don’t create and implement boundaries in our relationships with others we will always run our emotional cup dry. We will teach our brains over and over that the needs of others is greater than our own. Which is not true. Boundaries will not only help you understand the unique needs for yourself but it will also help you attract the right people.

I only learned the benefits of boundaries a little over a year ago. I have self abandoned the needs of myself for 28 years because I believed that’s how I would attain true love and friendship. I believed that I needed to take every phone call, answer every text and constantly show up for people even if I was internally struggling. I grew up in an environment that taught me to self abandon the needs of myself in attempt to keep the peace. Trying to undo this mindset isn’t easy and even now I still struggle when I say things like “I don’t have capacity to talk right now” or “I’m going to need to reschedule so I can be fully present when we hang out.”

But having these boundaries set in place has helped train my brain that I come first. It has helped me on my journey to self love. It has helped all my relationships thrive because I am being authentic and honest with whether I have the capacity to be there for the ones I love or not. Boundaries have truly helped me realize that being empathic is a gift but can also be heavy and it is important to recharge when I need it. It has helped me attract like minded individuals who respect me and the boundaries I have in place. It has also taught me to show grace to others when they are honest about not having capacity to talk or hangout.

Boundaries are a necessary form of self love and self loyalty, so don’t feel bad about being honest about what you need from others and when you need space to be alone and recharge.

I hope this helped anyone who is struggling with creating or implementing boundaries in their own lives. If you think this could help someone you know, please share this or tag them in the comments.

Thank you for reading.


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